Monday, January 9, 2012

Kris Humphries: NBA's Public Enemy #1

At Power Forward, 6'9" from the university of who gives a crap Kris Humphries!! Booooo!! Jerkface!! Booooo!! You royal bag of douche!! Booooo!! Kim for president!! Booooo!! Booooo!! Booooo!! The home crowd is incredibly fired up and the game hasn't even started yet. In just 1 short year, Kris Humphries went from relative obscurity to the most hated man in the NBA. After a much anticipated, publicized wedding to reality sweetheart Kim Kardashian and subsequent nasty divorce, LeBron James breathed a much needed sign of relief. No longer was the devil of south beach the object of the nations scorn, oh no, instead Kris Humphries has taken on the entire burden. So what is it about this doofus that gets people so upset?

This is just a wild guess here but I think Kris Humphries is certifiably retarded. I mean who marries someone on national television then turns around and acts like a jackass on.....wait for it....national television? Kris Humphries. Apparantly the viewing public believes Kim Kardashian when she references the word Jerk or Mean associated with Humphries. So why not hate him, what do we care? Truth is we should probably give the guy a break, we don't know what happened behind the....wait what? IT WAS ON TV!?!?! Ohhhhh!! Hate away my friends, hate away! Kim Kardashian is a NATIONAL TREASURE I mean she has so many great talents, she can...err...she's just so pretty! There's simply one thing you can't do these days and that's mess with a pretty girl, everyone knows that!

So if you plan on seeing the New Jersey Nets play this year, dust off your pitchforks and clean out your throat cuz Kris Humphries is waiting for you. Perhaps you'd like to bring a nice cutout of Kim Kardashian to the game to remind Kris of all that he's lost. In fact, the Nets are planning a Kim Kardashian night in which the first 20,049 fans to pack the Izod Arena in East Rutherford New Jersey (sounds good huh?) will recieve a Kim Kardashian Bobblehead and a sack of batteries to throw at Kris! Oh yes, it's gonna be one hot night of mayhem. So Kris as you prepare to play basketball the rest of this year I suggest you eat worms before each game because nobody likes you, everybody hate you! Kim for president. 

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